YOUTH & ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIPS

This page was created by youth volunteers of SEMAH, Inc.

To teens who are in a relationship, it may be hard to recognize that domestic violence does occur because we relate it more to adults.

Well, guess what? It happens, in all communities. Yes, even in the Muslim community. And though you may not really want to believe that teenagers can be in abusive relationships, especially teenagers who are not supposed to be dating. You may not be in an abusive relationship, but a friend of yours could be. They may not be able to cry for help, but you can help them by pointing out to them the problems and getting help.

Listed below are a few warning signs. You are in an abusive relationship if your partner:

Is jealous and possessive
Does not allow you to have other friends
Checks up on or threatens you
Is violent or has a history of fighting
Loses his/her temper quickly
Brags about mistreating others
Pressures you for sex
Is forceful or scary around sex
Thinks boys/girls are sex objects
Gets too serious about the relationship too fast
Blames you for his/her anger, says you provoked it, pressed his/her buttons, made him/her do it, led him/her on
Says the reason for all past failed relationships was the other person
Believes that guys should be in control and powerful and that girls should be passive and submissive
Threatens to hurt themselves or you if a breakup occurs
Won't accept or honor your decision to end the relationship
Attempts to manipulate or place guilt by saying if you really loved me, you would
Abuses drugs or alcohol/pressures you to take them

Questions to ask yourself

Direct questions to ask yourself

How are things at home?
What does a typical argument look like in your family? Does one person usually win?

Indirect questions to ask yourself

Is someone hurting me?
Am I frightened by my partner's temper?
Have I ever been hurt, threatened, or intimidated by my partner?
Am I afraid that my partner might hurt me? In the past have I been afraid of being hurt?
Do I think (getting a job, talking to a counselor, having someone else talk with my partner, etc.) will put me in danger at home?
Do I feel safe in my home?

You don't have to feel alone, you can check our resources section and call us for help. Remember that God loves everyone and will help those who seek help.

We utilized information, with permission, from the brochure entitled, "Are you in a Healthy Relationship” produced by California Assemblymember Rebecca Cohen's office (District 24).

The brochure is based on From STAND! Against Domestic Violence Next Door Solutions to Violence's Dating Abuse Teen Education (DATE) Program. Both Assemblymember Rebecca Cohen and Next Door Solutions have our deepest gratitude for this help.

Help Line Numbers

24-7 Line: 1-888-247-7717
Shelter against violent environments: 510-794-6055
California Youth Crisis Line: 1-800-843-5200